Hypopituitarism

When I was younger, I was diagnosed with a condition called hypopituitarism. Hypopituitarism is a problem with the pituitary gland, where an inefficient amount of hormones are produced, resulting in decreased metabolism and growth, among other things. Starting from before my memories started to really solidify, after an onslaught of doctor visits and blood tests, I was put on a growth hormone schedule. On every day except for Saturdays, my father - and eventually myself after I got old enough - gave me a shot, giving me the right amount of hormones to allow me to grow normally. For many years, ending after I moved into high school, this treatment was a large part of my life, largely to my detriment. I developed hostile ideas toward myself as a human being, that I wasn't able to be "normal" without a manmade medication. After a few embarrassing occasions of teasing and shock from fellow students, my condition became my secret. I locked up something that was very much a large part of my life and chose to never bring it out again.  When other people would mention it to me, or tell me about another student who was going through it, I would always clam up and refuse to tell too much. Up until I was considering projects for my cohesive, I had almost forgotten about it. Thinking about it uncovered buried memories of shame, embarrassment, pain, and dependence. Through this cohesive portfolio, I was able to photograph how this affected me and continues to affect me through representations of the vivid memories that come up when I think about it. This project helped me uncover a huge part of my life that I have buried and helped me confront a lot of the shame of having those memories.